Feeling a bit illiterate

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Since my upcoming book is covering characters from classic literature, I’ve had to go back and remember what I read in high school and what I actually remember from all those books. I feel like my English teachers did pretty well in giving me a good range of reading assignments (except for a few duds here and there), but there’s still SO MUCH that I haven’t read. Among a few surprise “never-read” books on my list:

  • Pride & Prejudice: On top of that, I’ve never read ANY Jane Austen. AT ALL. And Jane Austen was one of the few authors that I remember my peers actually liking at that time. That’s a huge deal when it comes to moody teenagers being TOLD to read a book. How??
  • 1984: I could have sworn that I’d read this one, but apparently not.
  • The Catcher in the Rye: Another one that I remember my peers actually liking, although I’m not sure if I’d find the same appeal if I were to read it now.
  • Of Mice and Men and The Grapes of Wrath: Steinbeck in general sounds likes a writer I would like.

As for the ones that I HAVE read, putting together this book has also let me remember all of the books I enjoyed reading for school:

  • To Kill a Mockingbird: My favorite. Easy to read, easy to understand, lots of southern charm packed in, and it teaches so much about life and being a good person. It’s the only book I read in school that I voluntarily re-read as an adult.
  • Bless Me, Ultima: I’m not sure how widespread this one is as school reading? It’s similar to To Kill a Mockingbird in that it’s also a coming-of-age story told from the child’s point of view with lots of lessons about life and humans in general, but with much darker themes and lots of rich cultural imagery.
  • Brave New World and Fahrenheit 451: I’ve listed these two together because they made me feel the same way while I was reading them. When I read them in high school they already seemed a little too close for comfort. I’d imagine if I were to re-read them now they’d be even more uncomfortably close to our current society.
  • Picture of Dorian Gray: A guy is so vain that he sells his soul to have a painting do all of his aging for him, while he goes on a hedonistic rampage. What could go wrong?
  • The Awakening: Okay, so I actually didn’t like this book at the time that I read it. I plodded through it only because it was assigned reading, but I grew to appreciate this one so much later on in life. This is definitely one where if you don’t read it as a teenager, you should DEFINITELY read it as an adult to pick up on all of its social commentary.

And then I’ve got the KILL IT category:

  • Anything by Charles Dickens. I DON’T NEED SIX PAGES TO TELL ME THE SUN IS SHINING JUST STOP. Sorry to all the Dickens fans out there, the man’s got great stories, but DAMMIT GET TO THE POINT, CHARLIE.

Maybe I’ll have to try to make up for some lost time when I’m done with this book of my own! So to all of you awesome people out there: what are your favorite books, what are books you haven’t read but feel like you would enjoy, and what books are in your DIE DIE DIE category?

Posted in Publishing | 12 Comments

Guest critters, ready to go!

No new critters from me at the moment, but I’ve received an incoming transmission for a set of guest critters that will be up for grabs at San Diego Comic-Con! They’re made by Gina all the way out in the Czech Republic, and they’re currently hanging out in California at my accomplice’s home until we meet up in San Diego this summer. BEHOLD!

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A strange doctor! So strange he wears a cape! So strange that he can make himself look like Benedict Cumberbatch. Doctor Strange has never looked cuddlier and he’s ready to be picked up at Comic-Con this summer.

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BUT THAT’S NOT ALL.

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We’ve got a little pilot in our ranks!

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And his helmet comes off! Poe never got his jacket back, but he looks pretty darn good in his flight suit.

BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE! This one might be my favorite one yet:

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A little Poison Ivy! Lookit that hair! And the little leaves! I end up killing just about every plant that I come in contact with, so she wouldn’t be too happy in my home, but hopefully someone with a greener thumb will pick her up out in San Diego!

They’re so stinkin’ cute. They’re actually about the same size as my little critters, so it’s impressive that she can squeeze so much more detail into such a small space.

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All three will be up for grabs at San Diego Comic-Con in July, but if you don’t snag one, Gina also sells these little guys on Etsy! Find them and they’re yours to keep!

Credit: Gina’s Creations on Etsy

If you want to join my hunt for crocheted critters at San Diego Comic-Con this year, follow me on either twitter or facebook to track my drops! I just ask for two things if you find a critter: 1) Send me a photo of your new friend! 2) Let me know where the little buddy’s new home will be! Good luck, and happy hunting!

The Geeky Hooker

Posted in Adoptions, Marvel, SDCC, Star Wars | 1 Comment

BIG NEWS: THE HOOKER IS COMING TO SHELVES

If someone had told me 10 years ago that I was going to learn to crochet out of boredom, I would’ve said “Yeah, okay, that sounds likely.” If someone had told me five years ago that my crocheting was going to go viral on the internet, I would’ve said “Meh, anyone can get their 15 minutes on the internet these days.” If someone told me one year ago that I’d be signing a publishing contract to make a crochet book, I would’ve said “LOL stop trolling GTFO.” Except there was no trolling. You guys, it’s real. I’m making a book. I’M MAKING A FREAKING BOOK OH MY GOD.

It’s going to be a pattern book for characters from classic literature, I’ll be working with Quirk Books, and it’s scheduled for spring 2017. SOMEONE PINCH ME.

Needless to say I’m incredibly excited about this. I’m also incredibly nervous and overwhelmed, but excited nonetheless. I’m hoping folks will like it. I’m hoping it won’t bomb. And even if it does, it’ll be a great learning experience and I’ve just gotten started.

On the other hand this means that there’s going to be fewer critters up for grabs at San Diego Comic-Con this year as I work on the book, but I still plan on cranking those little guys out as much as I can in between. This goofy little hobby of mine has just grown a little bigger, and I can’t wait to see where it goes. To the shelves, and beyond!

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Zombie, the brain food isn’t quite the same as eating brains.

Credit: pattern for business zombie is from the cyber zombie pattern in Creepy Cute

Posted in Publishing | 14 Comments

Tony vs. Steve. Iron vs. Vibranium.

BEHOLD! Two more critters ready for San Diego Comic-Con!

First it was Batman vs. Superman, now we’ve got another battle between Iron Man and Captain America. Apparently 2016 is the year where a lot of superheroes they got real tired of each other’s shit. I guess it’s kind of like having a group of roommates, just that no one owes each other money, but they still have to deal with each other’s habits and the occasional pile of dirty dishes in the sink. Let’s see who we’ve got here, eh?

Captain America 2016 copy

Steve Rogers, aka Captain America:

  • A soldier and the designated “nice guy.”
  • Doesn’t have a lot of battle equipment, but he does just fine with augmented physical abilities and a handy shield.
  • A bit old-fashioned, but in a charming kind of way.
  • Describes himself as “just a kid from Brooklyn.”

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Tony Stark, aka Iron Man:

  • Genius billionaire, a bit of a megalomaniac.
  • Has no powers of his own, but he has an entire arsenal of self-designed robot suits with a variety of abilities.
  • Can be uncouth, but it comes off as being too cool for school.
  • Describes himself as a “genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist.”

We’ll have to see the movie to see who wins out, but I’m sure these two will work out their differences. I mean, Marvel’s got movies lined up until 2019 at the earliest, so I’m thinking there will be plenty of time for them to make up, right?

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So who will you side with? Either way they’ll both be coming with me to San Diego Comic-Con, so you’ll have some time to decide! That brings my Comic-Con critter total up to six so far!

Otherwise I’ve got big news to announce next week, so stay tuned!

If you want to join my hunt for crocheted critters at San Diego Comic-Con this year, follow me on either twitter or facebook to track my drops! I just ask for two things if you find a critter: 1) Send me a photo of your new friend! 2) Let me know where the little buddy’s new home will be! Good luck, and happy hunting!

The Geeky Hooker

Posted in Adoptions, Marvel, SDCC | 1 Comment

Bunny Troubles in Little China!

I’ve only done two other art trades in the past, but I’ve always had a good time with them. So I was particularly excited to be doing a trade with Marcy of Moon’s Creations. I was already a big fan of her work so I knew that doing a surprise trade with her was going to be a good time. We sent each other a list of each other’s interests, and let the other person run with it! She mentioned that she liked Guardians of the Galaxy, so I sent her a little Star Lord with a teeny tiny Groot:

Nothing could have prepared me for what AWESOMENESS Marcy was going to send me though. I mentioned that I loved campy cheezy movies, citing Big Trouble in Little China and Kung Fury as examples. When I got her package in the mail I couldn’t stop giggling.

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IT’S A LITTLE JACK BURTON. WITH A LIPSTICK MARK. OH MAH GAWD.

I LOVE her attention to detail. Just look at this 80’s-tastic hair:

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And the little kiss mark! It’s perfectly dabbed on there!

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BUT WAIT. THERE’S MORE.

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“It’s all in the reflexes”

It’s a Dead Lo-Pan. I couldn’t stop smiling at this, with the little knife in his forehead. If you haven’t seen Big Trouble in Little China, Lo-Pan’s death is a hilarious “welp, that didn’t work” moment.

…and there’s STILL MORE. GAH. It’s too much already! This one might have had me laughing the most:

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IT’S AN EXPLODING THUNDER.

Lookit the blush on this chubster! Lo-Pan’s death scene is already hilarious enough, but nothing tops the self-destruction of Thunder. For anyone who needs a reminder of how HILARIOUSLY AWESOME this scene was (skip to 1:41 to get right to the explosive greatness):

These are amazing. AMAZING. Shameless plug: Marcy has a store in case anyone wants to order some awesome bunnies of their own. They’re extremely well made and the attention to detail is incredible.

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And then. AND THEN. As if the three Big Trouble in Little China bunnies weren’t enough, she sent me ANOTHER bonus bunny! It’s one of my favorites that she’s made before, and I was absolutely thrilled that she sent me one of my own!

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The cutest, creepiest little Pinhead bunny EVER. I love it. LOVE IT. I feel like a jerk for only sending 1.5 critters, so I’ve already got more planned to send back to Marcy because I really need to step things up for this level of awesomeness and generosity. THANK YOU MARCY!:)

To follow more of Marcy’s awesome bunnies, here’s her twitter, facebook, and her etsy store! GO GO GO!

Posted in crochet love, trades | Leave a comment

Man vs. Alien. Bat vs. Steel.

Welp, I finally watched Dawn of Justice. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be, but it wasn’t great. I kind of liked Batfleck, but otherwise there were SO many things that didn’t make sense, even with a good dose of suspension of disbelief. But I’ll save my comments for now. BEHOLD! TWO MORE CRITTERS READY FOR SAN DIEGO COMIC-CON!!

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“Hey bro.”
“Sup.”

Batman vs. Superman. One is powered by the yellow sun, the other is a man of the night. Superhuman vs. human. Foreign vs. domestic. Based on Donald Trump’s campaign there’d probably be cries to boot Kal-El off this planet. One way or another it’s a battle for the ages. Sure, we all know Superman can fly, has super strength, super hearing, everything that you’d expect a super humanoid alien to have. And we all know that Batman is a vigilante with crazy ninja skills, lots of fancy tech, and a keen sense for sniffing out bad guys in Gotham. But how do they measure up in the battle of LIFE?

ROUND 1: Cooking.

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Well, it looks like Superman’s country upbringing has taught him to be a self-sufficient man who can hold his own in the kitchen. Lois Lane’s a lucky girl.

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“I FOUND SOMETHING IN THE GROUND. EAT IT.”
Dude. I get that you usually rely on Alfred for this sort of thing, but this is just sad.

ROUND 2: Paying bills.

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Superman: Journalism doesn’t pay very well. Looks like the Daily Planet doesn’t do Clark Kent any favors financially speaking.

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Batman: CASH MONEYYYYY. Bills? DONE.

Round 3: Coping with trauma.

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Superman: Even though he’s got all sorts of superpowers, Clark Kent would probably still see a therapist and talk things out if things really got out of hand. He’s pretty good at acting like a regular human being and dealing with stuff like a regular human being.

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Batman: ….uh. I’ll…uh…let you work this out.

Who wins in life? It’s hard to say, but I think we can all agree that Superman could use some of Bruce Wayne’s cash and Batman could use some of Clark Kent’s emotional stability. Otherwise I’d say they’re both managing their civilian lives decently well. They’ve made it this far, so I’d say they’re doing fine. Otherwise both of these little guys will be coming with me to San Diego Comic-Con! Find them and they’re yours!

As for the movie: I had low expectations already, so in those terms the movie was better than I expected. Visually the movie looked great. Ben Affleck as Batman was much better than I expected, and I loved Jeremy Irons as Alfred. But there were still so many things that were SO STUPID. Even as a casual movie watcher there were things that just didn’t work. Spoilers to come:

 

[SPOILER ALERT!!]

 

 

 

Just a few (okay, maybe more than just a few) things that bothered me:

  • Are Batman’s parents dead? ARE THEY? Are they dead, guys? I wasn’t sure. Oh wait, more replays of mommy and daddy Wayne dying. And shots of Sad Bruce visiting his parents’ mausoleum. Because Batman is SAD. SAAAAAAD. I think they’re dead. I think.
  • WHAT WERE THEY FIGHTING OVER?? The entire premise of the movie is this big epic fight between two iconic superheroes. For two guys who are pretty big on delivering justice and recognizing the good guys from the bad guys, they seem to be pretty pissed over a little bit of trolling by Lex Luthor, in addition to the general “Nyah, I hate that guy!” silliness. Two kids fighting over lunch money on a playground seem to have a better reason for pummeling each other than these two grown-ass men do.
  • Lex Luthor: No. Just no. Jesse Eisenberg’s Lex Luthor was basically Mark Zuckerberg deciding that he wanted to be the Joker without the makeup.
  • Superman’s selective super hearing: Superman can apparently hear Lois Lane’s cry for help all the way across the globe in Africa and swoop in to her rescue within seconds, but he can’t hear his own mother within the same city. Okay.
  • The “Martha” moment: I wanted to facepalm so hard at this point. If you’ve got a grudge so bad that you’re ready to commit murder, I find it ridiculous that discovering that your mommies have the same name will suddenly make everything okay. “Oh your mom’s name is Martha too? HIGH FIVE BRO. We’re cool now.”
  • Khal Drogo Aquaman’s short cameo: I know I’m being nitpicky on this one, but if you’re going to show a short cameo with the purpose of teasing a bit of hype for upcoming movies, you should get it right. I don’t know much about Aquaman, but it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that he’s a man of the sea and therefore should navigate water like nobody’s business, right? With all that CGI you’d think they’d do more to make Aquaman look a LITTLE more fluid and natural moving under water. Jason Momoa clearly looked like a dude holding his breath while he awkwardly struggled against the water pressure to jab his trident towards the camera. Come on now.
  • Wonder Woman: They made such a HUGE deal about Wonder Woman showing up. There was so much hype. So much excitement. So much disappointment. Gal Gadot didn’t get a lot of screen time and the movie did nothing to present Wonder Woman as being remotely interesting or significant to the story. Anne Hathaway didn’t get much screen time in The Dark Knight Rises but the writing and her acting NAILED it at presenting Selina Kyle as a smart and self-sufficient woman who was always a few steps ahead of Bruce Wayne. I was one of the people who originally had doubts over Anne Hathaway being Catwoman because I thought she would’ve been “too Disney” for the role, but I was delightfully proven wrong. This was not the case with Gal Gadot’s Wonder Woman. Ugh.

Needless to say, I wasn’t impressed. It wasn’t Star Wars prequel-bad, but it wasn’t good either. Let’s hope the future movies are better. Otherwise keep an eye out for my two little playground fighters at San Diego Comic-Con!

If you want to join my hunt for crocheted critters at San Diego Comic-Con this year, follow me on either twitter or facebook to track my drops! I just ask for two things if you find a critter: 1) Send me a photo of your new friend! 2) Let me know where the little buddy’s new home will be! Good luck, and happy hunting!

The Geeky Hooker

Posted in Adoptions, Batman, SDCC, Superheroes | 2 Comments

Because brains are SO mainstream

I’ve got another critter ready to go for San Diego Comic-Con! BEHOLD, FOR HE IS UNDEAD AND HAS PARTICULAR TASTE:

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“Excuse me, are these brains organic?”

Walking Dead is back, and I haven’t made a zombie in a long while. The fun thing about making zombies is that they can be ANYTHING. Policeman zombie? Can do. 80’s zombie? Why not? I decided to go with a hipster zombie. And really, aren’t geeks a little bit hipster anyway? “Oh, have you read the comics? Did you know about this storyline? And GOSH, ____’s outfit is supposed to be PURPLE, but whatever.”

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Hipster zombie’s got a taste for organic, non-GMO fair-trade South American coffee. None of that Starbucks junk, GOSH.

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He also enjoys a good craft beer.

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And of course he’ll want to post it all to Instagram.

Shoot, I’m not one to judge. I don’t like Starbucks, and I’d rather support local businesses if I’m going to pay $3 for a cup of coffee. I’d rather drink flat whites over lattes, but I don’t have enough of a palate to drink straight espresso. I love looking for local beers, and I like to try what’s popular in the area whenever I travel. I TOTALLY post photos of food to my personal Facebook page. On the other hand I don’t give a rat’s ass about GMOs or organically grown food – I’m lucky enough to be free from any food intolerances, so as long as it’s delicious I’ll eat it. Either way you’ll want to have some craft beer and some artisanal goods on hand to keep this little undead hipster happy! Find him at San Diego Comic-Con and he’s yours!

If you want to join my hunt for crocheted critters at San Diego Comic-Con this year, follow me on either twitter or facebook to track my drops! I just ask for two things if you find a critter: 1) Send me a photo of your new friend! 2) Let me know where the little buddy’s new home will be! Good luck, and happy hunting!

The Geeky Hooker

Credits!

  • Zombie is made from the “cyber zombie” pattern in Creepy Cute by Christen Haden.
  • Hipster zombie is drinking a cafe de olla from Campesino Coffee. It’s a newly opened coffee house, check it out if you’re in the Houston area!
  • Hipster zombie is drinking some beer brewed by Karbach Brewing Co. I know St. Arnold’s seems to be the hometown favorite here in Houston, but I’m a Karbach fan all the way.

Posted in Adoptions, SDCC, Zombies | 1 Comment

Splitting hairs

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After years of fangirling over Benedict Cumberbatch, I finally made a little Sherlock! One of my friends in the UK is doing me a favor by transporting this super awesome sweary adult coloring book to the US for me when he visits (shipping to the US would have been outrageously expensive), so in exchange I made a little Sherlock for his wife! The mop of hair. THAT F*CKING MOP OF HAIR. The things I had to go through to get that look.

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First I had to hook on each strand one by one…

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Then I’d cry when I realized that I was nowhere near being done. Why all this hair, Cumberbatch? WHYYY???

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After hooking all the strands of hair, I then had to manually fray out each strand. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. I started re-evaluating my life choices at this point. I also started to think he’d make a good Merida if I used reddish yarn instead.

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I started to hate the world, so I took a break from all the fraying with a tasty beverage.

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NO, YOU REMAIN CALM DAMMIT.

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I took out my frustrations on the beer can.

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I finished fraying all the hairs, refrained from yanking my own hair out, and gave him a haircut.

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I sat back and looked a the final result. Was it worth it? I’m still not sure, but I’m just glad it was over.

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Sherlock hair

BEHOLD! The mop of hair that caused me so much pain and strife! Damn you, Sherlock. Damn you and your mop of curly, fluffable hair. I’m sure my new sweary adult coloring book will prove to be therapeutic after all that work.

As much as I’d love to make another Sherlock to keep for myself, I think I’ll sit this one out. He’ll be heading back to the UK in March to a new home in Oxford!

Posted in BBC, Sherlock, Uncategorized | 9 Comments

Looking for love? Look no further.

Valentine’s Day is around the corner, and it’s time for a little romance up in here. Let’s play a game, shall we?

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Three lucky bachelors, looking for love! Let’s meet these dapper gentlemen:

Bachelor #1:

Link 2016

  • Has elvish good looks.
  • Likes to go LARPing on weekends.
  • Plays an instrument.
  • You can ride off into the sunset with him on horseback.
  • Manages to make a good living out of landscaping and breaking pottery.

Bachelor #2:

Magento 2016

  • Strong and intelligent.
  • Sometimes described as misunderstood, but he simply has an intense loyalty to those who share his interests.
  • Has a passion for civil rights.
  • Has an undeniable magnetism to him. Literally.

Magento 2016 clips

Bachelor #3:

Deadpool 2016

  • Loves Mexican food.
  • Is a cancer survivor and is really, REALLY living out his new lease on life.
  • Has uh….unique looks under the mask.
  • Can verbally and literally smack down just about anyone.
  • If he likes you enough, he will woo you with money, jewelry, flowers, just about anything you could want. Just don’t ask where he got them from.

Telling from popular opinion, it looks like foul-mouthed Bachelor #3 is going to be quite a winner this weekend. Famous, charming in his own vulgar way…DEADPOOL, YOU WIN!

Deadpool portrait 2016

So who else is planning on seeing Deadpool this weekend for Valentine’s Day? It should be a fun ride. And out of the three bachelors Deadpool actually IS available for keeps, because he’s the first critter to be ready for SDCC this summer! The San Diego Comic-Con hunt is on once again this year, so follow along as I update the blog until the big kahuna of geek conventions arrives in July! Otherwise whether you’ve got someone in your life or not, enjoy the hell out of Valentine’s Day, because one way or another it’s just one day out of the year and we all deserve some love. Have a great weekend everyone!

If you want to join my hunt for crocheted critters at San Diego Comic-Con this year, follow me on either twitter or facebook to track my drops! I just ask for two things if you find a critter: 1) Send me a photo of your new friend! 2) Let me know where the little buddy’s new home will be! Good luck, and happy hunting!

The Geeky Hooker

Posted in Adoptions, Marvel, SDCC, Uncategorized | 4 Comments

新年快樂!

Happy Lunar New Year! To celebrate the year of the monkey, I’m re-sharing some photos of a little monkey I made a few years back for a co-worker:

monkey

monkey banana

monkey tail

Unfortunately I don’t have the little monkey in my possession, otherwise I would’ve taken some new photos with some nifty New Year’s backgrounds to celebrate.:) To all who are at the receiving end of lucky red envelopes this year, may you reap ALLL the rewards of being in a younger generation. To all those who are giving out the red envelopes, may your bank account be under the protection of the gods. When in doubt, follow this handy flowchart:

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Credit where credit is due, pattern for this cute lil’ monkey is by Joanna Ma of cuteamigurumi.com and can be found here!

Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments