“Say my name.”

Temperatures here in Houston haven’t gotten nearly cold enough to call it winter, but someone is still carrying some ice.

Heisenberg copy

“I am the one who knocks.”

I don’t make many things for myself. Out of all the things that I’ve made over the past five years of crocheting, the number of critters that I’ve kept for myself is still in the single digits. But when my co-worker asked me for a little Heisenberg, I knew I had to make one for myself too. I LOVED Breaking Bad. I loved and hated Walter White throughout the show’s run. I loved Jesse Pinkman and my heart broke for him over and over again. I LOVED Gus Fring and his cold, calculating ways without being too “Bond villain”-ish. I didn’t watch it while it was on the air, but I binged it like crazy once the final season aired and finished all five seasons in three weeks. It would’ve been two weeks if I hadn’t taken a trip to New York City within that time. I still miss the show. I was skeptical about Better Call Saul, but I was hooked immediately and it was like old friends had come back to visit. Needless to say, anything having to do with Breaking Bad was going to be a keeper for me.

Heisenberg baggie 2 copy

“Tight, tight, tight, YEAH! Blue, yellow, pink, whatever man, just keep bringing me that.”

Heisenberg science copy

YEAH, SCIENCE!” – Contrary to popular belief, Jesse never says “SCIENCE, BITCH!”

Heisenberg bald copy

You could say he’s a man of science who hung up his hat for his family.

Walter White, ready to join the ranks in my small personal collection! Hoping to start on San Diego Comic-Con critters within the next month or two!

P.S. Did anyone else think that the Heisenberg sketch looked like the Mobile, Alabama leprechaun sketch?


Posted in TV shows | 1 Comment

It’s that time of year.

Thanksgiving has come and gone, and now Christmas season is in full swing. I scowled when I saw Hobby Lobby putting up Christmas paraphernalia before Halloween even started. I just about ripped my car stereo out when our local soft-pop station started the 24-hour Christmas music a week earlier than their usual start date of Thanksgiving Day. I’m a certified Christmas Grinch, and for all the other Grinchy hookers out there, I present to you all again my little Grinch pattern:

IMG_9029 edit

For those of us who need a little stink, stank, stunk for this season, here’s my free Grinch pattern again to add a little grump to your holiday season. Also: two years later, a ravelry user with an eagle eye noticed an error in my pattern! If you’re going to make a little Grinch, note the following:

Rows 7-9 of the Grinch’s body should be as follows:

Rows 7-8: Should be SC 24 around
Row 9: Should be [SC 2, dec 1] x6 (18 stitches)

Otherwise happy hooking to everyone out there! And to everyone who’s hooking up a storm for holiday gifts: godspeed, and may your giftees appreciate your carpal tunnel-inducing efforts.

Posted in Holidays, Patterns | Leave a comment

Liked Mike? Now you can make your own!

I don’t write patterns very often but I felt like Mike Wazowski deserved some love! He was relatively easy to make…the only parts that were a pain in the ass were the horns, but I tend to struggle with the exceptionally tiny parts. Otherwise the pattern is posted up on Ravelry FO’ FREE! I only did a quick one-time look through the pattern after I transcribed all of my scribbles, so feel free to let me know if you find any mistakes!


Go forth, and make a little monster of your own! Happy hooking!

Posted in Patterns, Pixar | 1 Comment

San Francisco: The recap

I’m back from San Francisco where I ate, I saw…and probably still didn’t eat or see enough. Here’s a slice of how the weekend went:


  • I did the touristy thing and took a trolley! It was actually pretty fun and it’s a great way to see some good views of the city from the streets.


  • I got drinks at Tonga Room & Hurricane Bar, which was basically Rainforest Cafe for adults. SUPER gimmicky and cheezy, but the drinks are strong (*ahem*) and it was definitely something fun to see once.
  • I did the other touristy thing and got a photo at the Golden Gate Bridge!


  • THIS SANDWICH. OH MAH GAWD, THIS PORCHETTA SANDWICH. Got it from Roli Roti at the Ferry Building Farmer’s Market, and holy hell, it’s everything good in this world between bread. Savory, unctuous pork belly, peppery arugula, and crispy cracklings sprinkled throughout to add a crunch. SO EFFING GOOD.


  • THESE EGG TARTS. (@#*&$@(*#&$ THESE EGG TARTS. Best egg tarts of my LIFE. Perfectly flakey crust, and somehow they managed to get an AMAZINGLY creamy custard that’s just set in without making that delicate crust soggy. Got them from Golden Gate Bakery, they’re even better than ones that I’ve had in Asia. I thought about getting some to bring home, but I knew they wouldn’t be the same if I tried to reheat them. I love that there’s two little pissed off Cantonese ladies working at the counter…they were merciless if you didn’t speak Chinese, but they were merciless if you DID speak Chinese as well. No discrimination here. The egg tart nazis fed me well.


  • I found Yoda! The Lucasfilms lobby was closed though, so my husband and I ended up peering through the windows like a bunch of creepy stalkers to see all the cool stuff inside.


I ate and drank plenty more than what I’ve got posted, but other food highlights include ridiculously good handmade mochi at Benkyodo (little pillows of happiness, I tell you), lots of good coffee from Philz and Blue Bottle, and kouign amanns from b. patisserie. Oof. Bottom line is that San Francisco fed me well and I came back happy and a wee bit heavier. :D

Things that I’ll have to come back for:

  • Oysters at Swan Depot
  • Visiting Alcatraz
  • Seeing the Painted Ladies
  • Visit the “Full House” house?
  • Seeing the sealions
  • Sushirrito?? Funny how I had no qualms over eating a roasted guinea pig in Peru, but I’m skeptical about this thing.

And of course the icing on the cake during my trip is that all three of my critters were found! And I got some fantastic pictures sent to me by all the adopters! :)

[tweet https://twitter.com/GeekyHooker/status/662876967390212096]

[tweet https://twitter.com/cyndypoon/status/663160459437051906]

[tweet https://twitter.com/SheEnBeanHonest/status/663499562611380224]

Three successful adoptions out in NorCal! Thanks to everyone who picked up a critter, and thanks to everyone who joined the hunt and gave me recommendations on where to go! One thing that I’m still shocked about is how my goofy little hunt got picked up by the local press. I’m extremely grateful for them spreading the word (many of them asked if it was okay to share first, so I greatly appreciate that they gave that courtesy!), and I’m sure it’s a huge part of why my three drops were successful this past weekend. I’m just an idiot on vacation, so admittedly it’s still puzzling to me that it’d be featured in the news when there seems to be SO MUCH going on in a lively city like San Francisco, but I guess there are worse things they could be reporting on! There could be better things, but there could be worse. :) And because of the attention I got from the local press, I now have this AMAZING clip from ABC7 News where I get to hear the word “hooker” read aloud in that perfect news anchor cadence. It still cracks me up every time. I love it. LOVE IT.

[tweet https://twitter.com/abc7newsBayArea/status/662716656452419584]

Thank you San Francisco, for your food, your hospitality, and for allowing this hooker to leave a few sacks of yarn behind. I’ll have to come back someday, if not to eat more, then to bring some more critters to take over!

Posted in Adoptions, Disney, Pixar, travels | 2 Comments

Keeping an eye on things

I’ve got a third critter to take with me to San Francisco this weekend! You could say he’s got…a vision. And a keen eye for detail. It’s enough to make anyone green with envy. Ok, ok, I’ll see myself out.

Mike SF

It’s Mike Wazowski!


That rounds it out to three critters that I’ll be taking with me to San Francisco: Anger, Baymax, and Mike.


Baymax SF


Be sure to read this post for a general idea of how the drops will work if you plan on hunting this weekend! A few quick reminders:

  • I’ll be in town 11/6-11/9, but I only plan on doing drops 11/6-11/8.
  • I’ll only be dropping one critter a day
  • Drops will most likely be in touristy spots since I’m visiting as a tourist! Sorry!

Otherwise I fly out tomorrow morning! Looking forward to eating everything in sight and hoping for some successful critter adoptions. :) Happy hunting!

Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Plan on looking for a critter? Here’s what you need to know!

I’m flying out to San Francisco on Friday morning, and I’ve got 3 critters ready to go for adoption! Here’s some tips if you plan on trying to find one of my little dudes this coming weekend:

  1. Follow me either on facebook or twitter, but I highly suggest twitter for drop-tracking. Facebook does a weird thing where it doesn’t show my posts in real-time based on whatever magical algorithm they use to control people’s newsfeeds.

    The Geeky Hooker

  2. Follow the hashtag #CRITTERDROP to filter out my tweets if you want to see the ones pertaining to the drops only.
  3. Set up a twitter mobile alert on your phone! This isn’t required, but it’ll help! This way your phone will buzz every time I make a post on twitter, so you won’t miss a single drop! You might end up with your phone buzzing like crazy if I’m geeking out over something during my trip, but otherwise I’ll try to keep it tame. ;) Instructions on how to set this up can be found here.
  4. If you find a critter, let me know that you found it! Please, please, PLEASE check in if you find a critter. Each one is tagged with a card with my contact info. I just ask for two things if you find one: 1) Send me a photo of your new friend, and 2) Let me know where the critter’s new home will be so I can add it to my map! I do this knowing that there’s a potential that anyone could swipe the critter and never get back to me on it, but it doesn’t make it any less disheartening when one goes missing.
  5. Critters will be dropped one at a time. No pairs/groups of critters.

To recap, here’s who I’m dropping this weekend:



Baymax SF


Mike SF

Mike Wazowski

I’ll be in town 11/6-11/9, but I only plan on doing drops from 11/6-11/8, and I’ll only drop one critter per day. And a warning that I’ll most likely end up dropping them at touristy spots since I’m visiting as a tourist! Otherwise let’s get these guys some good homes! Happy hunting, everyone!

Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Return of the cuddly robot!

Critter #2 for my upcoming weekend trip to San Francisco! So I know this is kind of stretching the whole San Francisco theme a bit…San Fransokyo isn’t exactly San Francisco, and it’s not exactly Tokyo, but dammit, I like Baymax, other people seem to like Baymax, so Baymax is coming with me one way or another.

Baymax SF

Baymax Bandaid

Hopefully he’ll be providing the best care for someone out there! Again, I’ll be in town from 11/6-11/9, but I’ll only be doing drops from 11/6-11/8. Just a quick warning that drops will most likely happen at touristy spots (stuff that locals probably don’t give a crap about) because well, I AM visiting as a tourist. :) I’ll only have a small handful of critters, probably just one a day, so keep an eye out!

If you want to join my hunt for crocheted critters in San Francisco this weekend,  follow me on either twitter or facebook to track my drops! I just ask for two things if you find a critter: 1) Send me a photo of your new friend! 2) Let me know where the little buddy’s new home will be! Good luck, and happy hunting!

The Geeky Hooker

Posted in Adoptions, Disney, travels | 1 Comment

If you’re going to @#$%-ing San Francisco…

I’m heading to San Francisco for a quick weekend vacation this coming Friday! And I’ve decided to take some critters with me! Since Pixar HQ is in the area, I thought I’d go with Pixar/San Francisco-themed critters for this weekend! I’ll be in town from 11/6-11/9, but I’ll only be doing drops from 11/6-11/8. Just a quick warning that drops will most likely happen at touristy spots because well, I AM a tourist. :) I’ll only have a small handful of critters, probably just one a day, so keep an eye out! Here’s the first critter coming with me to San Francisco!

anger 2

Say hi to Anger. He’s also new to San Francisco. So far he isn’t too happy with the place, but happy isn’t really his thing anyway. Maybe some food will make me slightly less angry. Just slightly.

anger pizza


anger table flip



You don’t mess with pizza. You. Just. Don’t.

In all seriousness, I’m pretty sure my food experiences there will be FANTASTIC. And I actually DO plan on doing a table flip. Not even joking. There’s a crazy Japanese table flip arcade game that I want to play and I’ve been tipped off that they have a console at the Japantown Mall. Food and table flips are already sounding like this is going to be a great trip. Otherwise if you’re going to be in San Francisco this weekend, keep an eye on my twitter account and you might find this little angry dude! :)

If you want to join my hunt for crocheted critters in San Francisco this weekend,  follow me on either twitter or facebook to track my drops! I just ask for two things if you find a critter: 1) Send me a photo of your new friend! 2) Let me know where the little buddy’s new home will be! Good luck, and happy hunting!

The Geeky Hooker

Posted in Adoptions, Pixar, travels | 1 Comment


I can crochet just fine, but I can’t sew worth crap. I’m a grown-ass woman who still needs mommy to help hem some pants, and my embroidery skills are okay at best. I started looking into cheapo sewing machines to learn with, when my friend Ellen was generous enough to give me hers!


It’s so pretty. And scary. WHAT TO DO.

I insisted on repaying her somehow, so I made her a little lucky cat!

Lucky Cat


Thanks again for the sewing machine, Ellen! Hopefully I don’t end up with a needle in my finger. May the little kitty bring you lots of good fortune!

P.S. Ellen does some cool work of her own! She’s well-traveled and takes cool photos. You can check out her cafe blog here.

Posted in friends | 1 Comment


When I initially asked Urian what characters he wanted as thanks for his help with this year’s adoptions at SDCC, he gave me a few choices to pick from. He put a lot of time and effort into coming up with ideas for the drops, and his girlfriend was a huge help too, so I decided “screw it, they get TWO!” One of the other items he threw out was a Moogle from Final Fantasy. Now that’s something I AM familiar with, even if the only Final Fantasy game I’ve ever played extensively was a bootleg PC copy of FFVII back in the day. Who could forget those cute little buggers with the antennae on their heads?

Moogle 2


Moogle carrot

This…this is not a kupo nut. WHAT IS THIS GARBAGE?

The little moogle’s on its way to California along with little Luffy as we speak! Safe travels, little friend. Hopefully you’ll get those kupo nuts you were looking for.

Posted in Video games | Tagged , | 1 Comment